Birthday Surprises
by Attila12
Summary: Hidan started the day feeling pretty good. It was his birthday after all. And he'd still feel good if it weren't for that birthday-forgetting partner of his.


_Hello, peoples belonging to the Naruto fandom! ^^ This certainly isn't my first fanfiction, but it is my first contribution to this fandom, so I hope you all like it! ^^ This is a birthday present for my friend Melby, Red Eyes Cry in the Darkness here on if I'm not mistaken. :D Happy B-day Melby!!_

* * *

It was very dark in the Akatsuki lair, despite the fact that it was early morning. As the base of an evil organization, Pein had decided that it was suiting not to install windows and keep it gloomy. Of course, he didn't have to live there.

In one room of the easternmost corridoor, a man laid splayed out on his bed. His snores signaled that he was blissfully unaware of the time of day. However, his clock was not.

The man groaned in protest as the loud ringing sound pounded against his ear drums before sleepily grumbling a few curses as he extended his arm and hit the snooze button on the detested appliance. He then rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

Meanwhile, the man's partner came out of their shared bathroom and saw that he was still asleep. The second man rolled his emerald green eyes and walked over to his partner's bed.

"Hidan, get your lazy ass out of bed," the second man said as he reached down and gave the first a rough shake.

"Uhg, fuck you, Kakuzu! Let me sleep!" the man identified as Hidan whined, pulling the blanket up over his silver-haired head.

However Kakuzu, Hidan's partner, was having none of this. His eyes narrowed a bit as he walked to the foot of the bed. He grabbed a fist-full of blanket and sheets and pulled hard, successfully ripping them away from the zealot. "Get up, Hidan," the miser repeated his command with a growl.

Hidan finally cracked one lilac eye open to glare at his partner. "Why are you such a prick?" he groaned as he pulled himself into a sitting position.

"We have a mission. Hurry up and get ready. I'll be waiting outside." And with that, the older man left.

Hidan rolled his eyes before reaching over to his night stand to grab his rosary and headband. His small 'death-a-day' calender caught his attention as he slipped the cold metal trinket over his head, causing him to grin. "Damn! I can't believe I forgot my own birthday for a minute there!" he laughed as he finished tying his forehead protector around his neck and made his way to the bathroom.

-ooo-

"Hey, shithead! Are we there yet?" Hidan called as they walked along the seemingly endless path. He trailed slightly behind his partner, as he almost always did. "We've been walking for hours!" he added as his feet gave another irritating throb.

"No. Now shut up and keep walking," the sutured man replied simply.

The zealot groaned and took to glaring at his partner's back. _'I can't believe him! That inconsiderate prick! And I think he actually forgot my fucking birthday! I mean, he hasn't said a damn thing about it! Seriously, the others all wished me a happy birthday and some even gave me a present! Hell, even leader wished me a happy birthday with that telepathy thing of his before I left the base! Meanwhile, my heathen bastard of a boyfriend hasn't said a thing! I thought lovers were supposed to remember shit like that!'_

After a good ninety minutes of silence, and fuming inwardly on Hidan's part, they arrived at their destination. Or at least, the village was in easy sight. It was a small village located near the Land of Earth's border.

"Hey, isn't this the same place we went to last month?" the Jashinist asked as his eyes scanned the familiar looking town, bringing an hand up to shield his amethyst eyes from the sun.

"Yeah. We have a few loose-ends to tie up here," Kakuzu replied, keeping his gaze locked on the village.

Hidan raised an eyebrow and slightly tilted his head to the side. "Loose-ends? What the hell does that mean?"

The miser's gaze narrowed into a bit of a leer as it turned to regard the silver-haired man. "You moron. It means we have to kill the ninjas that got away last time. They've been leaking information about Akatsuki."

"Oh!" Hidan exclaimed as he finally remembered their escaped foes, a grin beginning to form on his face. "I remember now! Those guys who ran off like the little pussies they are!" The zealot's grin grew even wider as a few laughs began to escape his throat. "You know, we might not have had to be here right now if you hadn't let them run right past...!"

His teasing was cut short by Kakuzu's hand crushing his wind pipe, lifting him off the ground slightly as he was shoved into a tree.

Kakuzu glared daggers as his gasping partner as he held him off the ground and against the tree by his throat. "I swear, I'm going to kill you ojne of these days," he growled before releasing his grip and allowing the purple-eyed man to slide to the ground.

Hidan took in a few painful, gasping breaths and raised his hand to gently rub his throbbing neck. There was no real damage done, though it might bruise a bit later on. The Jashin follower rolled his eyes and smirked. "I love you too, Kakuzu-chan," he said a bit sarcastically as he climbed to his feet. _'After all, he didn't do any serious damage. Seriously, he must love me. Even if he did forget my birthday,'_ he thought to himself, the smirk never leaving his face. Not even at the slightly bitter feeling that came with the ending thought.

"Shut up, Hidan," the older man ordered, his eyes remaining narrowed as they regarded the Jashinist. Just then, the sound of approaching footsteps reached his ears. "We have company."

Hidan grinned as he turned his head and saw a small group of shinobi heading their way, probably about a total of nine. "Oh, yeah! I've been itching for a fight all day! I can't wait to sacrifice those fools to Jashin-sama!" he crowed as he pulled his scythe from his back and got into battle position. _'Not to mention vent a little of this fucking anger. Seriously, I thought I was gonna explode!'_he thought as he dodged the kunai that had been thrown to hit him in the heart. _'Hehe, this is gonna be fun. Happy birthday to me!' _he thought with a loud, crazed laugh as he charged toward the first guy he laid eyes on.

-ooo-

"Man, are we lucky or what? These pussies are the same ones that got away last time!" the zealot said with a cocky smile as he examined the faces of their latest victims. He turned to his partner and laughed. "Seriously, I can't believe they just ran right at us after they saw what we did to their buddies last time! Man, they must be fucking retarded!"

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow at that. "As if you're one to talk?"

"Hey, fuck you!" Hidan snapped as his eyes narrowed dangerously and a vein popped out of his forehead a bit due to his fury. "I'm not friggin' retarded you asshole! Seriously, I'm just friggin' impulsive!"

"Right," the miser muttered sarcastically before turning his attention back to their targets' corpses.

Hidan had to bite his lip and use every bit of his self-control to stop himself from responding to that. He knew that if he yelled now it would turn into a rant about how Kakuzu forgot his birthday and what a terrible boyfriend he was. Which wasn't true, but people tend to say irrational things when enraged. He continued to grind his teeth and bite his lip in silent fury as the stitched man lifted three of the lifeless bodies from the ground.

"These three are worth a fair amount of money. We're taking them to the nearest exchange point," the miser informed his partner.

This caused Hidan to stop grinding his teeth for a moment as anger turned to exasperation and annoyance, causing his eyebrow to rise. "Do you have that fucking bingo book of yours memorized or something?"

Kakuzu shrugged. "Pretty much." He then tossed the bodies over his shoulders, carrying two of them in one fist and one in the other. "Now let's get going."

Hidan's jaw dropped a bit into a gape for a moment in surprise and more exasperation. "We're leaving now?! I haven't even prayed yet, damnit!" he shouted once he recovered.

"Too bad. We have to get out of here now. We don't have time for your stupid rituals," the sutured man replied simply as he began to walk down the path in the same direction they had come from to begin with.

The Jashinist cursed under his breath before running to catch up with his partner. Once he did, he turned his head to leer at his companion. "You're a fucking inconsiderate asshole. You know that, right?"

"Stop whining like a bitch and make yourself useful," the ex Taki-nin replied as he tossed one of the three corpses to Hidan.

The younger man grunted as he caught the body. He couldn't help but shudder in disgust as its blood ran down his skin and its cold, lifeless flesh pressed against him. He managed to shove it away from his fave and glared at his partner, rage burning in his amethyst eyes. He glared even harder when he saw that the sutured man was already beginning to walk away again. Hidan had to resort to biting his lip again to stop himself from screaming and descending into a hysterical rant. The feeling of his canine tooth piercing the skin and the metallic flavor of his blood strangely helped to calm him a bit as he followed the source of his rage.

-ooo-

About two hours later, Hidan found himself waiting outside of an old, abandoned mill as he waited for his partner to finish his exchange. The sun was beginning to set, painting the sky a mix of orange and bright pink on the horizon as lavender clouds drifted by. _'Damn. That'd be beautiful if I wasn't so pissed off right now,'_the Jashinist thought bitterly as he watched the sky.

Hidan could feel an enraged snarl rising in his throat at the mere thought of his partner and lover. _'Just calm down,'_ he thought to himself as he slowly exhaled through his gritted teeth. _'I mean, yeah. He forgot my birthday, and choked me, and made me walk for hours without resting, and stopped me from doing my ritual, and deprived me of food, and...'_ He had to stop as an angry shudder shook his body and caused his jaw to clench even tighter.

_'Okay, not helping,'_he growled in his head as he took a shaky breath in an attempt to cool his boiling blood. _'Look at the bright side. He seriously owes me now. He'll have to make up for it all later.' _That thought lightened his mood slightly, but not nearly enough. The heated blood of his fiery rage still coursed through his veins. He was standing on the very edge of his self-control.

At that moment, he heard the sound of footsteps as the object of all his frustration approached him. "Hidan," he heard the older man say moments before feeling a rough, calloused hand lightly grip his right shoulder.

This simple act was the spark that ignited the flaming explosion of rage that consumed him and threw him right over the edge.

The Jashinist spun around to face his partner and glared up at him with crazed, lilac eyes. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, YOU BIRTHDAY-FORGETTING BASTARD?!" he screamed at the older man before a bit of his restraint returned to him. He took to clenching his jaw and snarling lightly as he waited for a response. _'Oh, if he doesn't say something seriously good there's gonna be hell to pay,'_ he thought as he carefully watched for his lover's reaction.

Surprisingly, Kakuzu had an amused look in his emerald green eyes. "Forget your birthday? Why would I do something like that?"

Hidan felt his face contort into an expression of confusion. He looked down in surprise when Kakuzu pushed a box against him. It was wrapped in newspaper and had a red ribbon tied around it. The zealot, still in disbelief, held out his hands and accepted the gift. He stood there for a moment, switching his gaze between the box and his partner with his utter shock clearly written on his face.

"Well, are you going to open it or what?" the older man asked. Amusement could easily be detected in his usually serious voice.

Hidan gave his head a light shake before hesitantly untying the ribbon, which he shoved into the sleeve of his robe. He then set about to removing the newspaper wrapping. Once it was gone, his amethyst eyes grew even wider and his mouth fell open a bit in shock.

It was a Jashin holy book. It appeared to be brand new, Jashin's name engraved in gold colored letters on the front. The cover was made of dark brown leather and the pages were a light, tan parchment. The contents were inscribed on the pages in jet black ink, the font being old-fashioned, yet still easy to read. Some pages had been purposely stained with crimson ink to resemble blood splotches and several pages even had pictures that depicted scenes from the book.

The zealot thumbed through it in disbelief before closing it and lightly caressing the cover with one hand as he held it with the other. He brought his gaze back up to his partner after a moment or two of admiring the book. "How did you...? When did you...? I thought...?" he stuttered, unable to even form a full sentence.

Under his mask, Kakuzu smiled. "I've had this planned for a while now. I found the book in a store out here last month. If I hadn't, I would have made you a new rosary. But luckily, I did. I bought it and hid it here, threatening the bounty collector with death if anything happened to it. I let those guys go on purpose so that we'd have an excuse to come back out here. Happy birthday, Hidan. Sorry if I upset you, but I wanted it to be a real surprise."

Hidan took a moment to allow all this information to settle in. Once it did, he threw his arms around the miser in a happy embrace. "Thanks, Kakuzu! I'm just glad that you really did remember! I love the gift and I love you," he said, tears of joy beginning to form in the corners of his eyes. He wrapped his arms around the taller man's neck and pulled down his mask to reveal his stitched jawline. The Jashinist then pulled himself up and placed a kiss on the miser's lips. He grinned as he pulled away. "You've probably made this my best birthday ever."

"Yeah. And I'm going to make it even better tonight," Kakuzu replied with a grin of his own.

* * *

_Okay, I really hope you all liked it! :D This is my longest oneshot yet! ^^_

_As for the last line... use your imagination for what happens next. ;)_


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